Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
