just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize