is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize