Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
