friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
