stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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