The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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