...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
