Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
