I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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