Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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