I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
