pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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