I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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