butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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