ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize