Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
