Nicole vs. Life
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
