Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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