As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Vodka?
Forever.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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