dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
