So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
