It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
