i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
