You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
