Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
