She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize