Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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