Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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