i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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