last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
