Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
