hell yes lets make some ravioli
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
