I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
