Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
