We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize