I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
