i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
