its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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