Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
