i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
