I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
