He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
