whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
