are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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