shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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