I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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