Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
