you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
