Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Mom said you looked used
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
