i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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