you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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