At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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