would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
