guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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