in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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