I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
