The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize