smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
as a side note pls kill me
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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