Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
