Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
