I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
