If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
