do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
