are you still at the devil's house?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize